I asked about my “ex” and the pending legal deal.
This is my second call with Carla and I always feel so much relief after I talk with her. I feel like she connects with the deeper truth I feel and know but cannot articulate.
She said my ex is cheap and has been mad all along that I never made more money. (Which she couldn’t have known, but is absolutely true!) The only time he ever really felt good about me was when I was making money. Carla said he likes women “to take care of him.” He has never liked the way I spend money. Also very true. I like beautiful things and he only wants to pay for experiences. This was a huge problem in our relationship that never got resolved or aligned. We never found a safe way to ‘take turns.’
Carla told me she thinks he is not really that attractive (even though I think he is.) My therapist has been telling me this for years!
Carla remarked that lots of men these days don’t want – or know how – to provide for their families.
Carla sensed that he still wants me, but I have to decide if I want to continue with the pattern. He is angry that he cannot get me to do what he wants anymore. (That is definitely true.) Even after the divorce, he STILL wants to control where I live and how I spend my money.
I asked about the financial future of this pending deal, and she said I should not try to communicate with him directly because nothing will change – to let the lawyers and money managers handle it. She said that he will be unhappy with the outcome because they are going to garnish his wages. (I sure hope so.)
I asked about my children and if they are going to be ok. She said they are mad at him and this hurt will be a part of them for a long time. I said my daughter seems to love him and worry about him. Carla looked further and told me that my daughter is simply concerned that her father will never be happy.
I asked her if I would ever be able to love or be loved. Carla told me that time will heal this and she sees someone in my future, not tomorrow, but when I am ready to be able to receive love. She said I still look in the mirror and believe the things that my ex said to me. That’s when I broke down crying because Carla got to the heart of my fears I have believed for so long that I didn’t have any value, and that my ex was the one who was responsible for the good stuff. I felt so sad, but also relieved to hear that time would heal this.
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